Wednesday, February 18, 2015

i have become techno befuddled

Ok, ugh.  I have become another stereotype.  I am the technologically befuddled old lady.

This is disturbing and comical because I spent most of my career life as a techno geek.  I used a time share mainframe in high school in the '60's.  I programmed an apple 2.  I consulted with and sold one of the early 'portable' computers. I connected via phone these early sewing machine size and weight 'portables' to a Honeywell mainframe.  I hacked the mainframe at work to create an inventory control program for the business forms the company used.  I wrote collection software for the local credit bureau, payroll software, medical billing programs.  Took a mail order course in computer repair... yeah yeah, from a matchbook cover ad.  It taught me how to solder motherboards etc, and that I liked software better than hardware.  I went back to school in the late 80's to get a masters in computer science.  I did admin work and taught C++.  I wrote 13 + computer books, learned security, got my CISSP along with a bunch of Microsoft certifications.  Did a column on Windows security for oh, 5 years?  Spoke on and taught computer security internationally.  In 2005 I wrote the best book I ever wrote, sold my house, finished up my work commitments and dropped out.

Went to art school.

Ended up babysitting my grandchildren 60 hours a week and making art and crocheting afghans.

Computers?  Something to play freecell on, shop for yarn.  Read the news.

My desktop is 8 years old.  My apple laptop, 7.  My iPad the original my dad sent me years ago when he bought a newer one.

I just bought a Microsoft Surface as a reward for going through cataract surgery and to have   something to do after.  (although you feel great right away, you can't lift anything the first week, 10 pounds the second, 20the third, etch. You can't even take a shower. So what do you do?)
?? 
And blamo.  Just like that, I realized I am techno befuddled.

My 6 year old granddaughter is more techno savvy than I am.  Heck, my 2 yr old grandson even gets it.  But I, I am struggling.  The use of touch screen, gestures, different way of finding things and doing things is NOT intuitive to me.  What is intuitive anyways?  If its the ability to figure out how to work things without reading the manual then this interface is not.  For me.  My techno background is based on the hard work of reading manuals, dipping into the guts of things cautiously.  Its of a time when just poking at things could end up not just crashing a system, but destroying it, or at the very least losing critical data.  And a crash could be its own disaster.  Systems didn't just pop back up intact with the ability to recover files, return to web pages.  A crash could mean hours if not days of  work to get things up and running.  Meanwhile, business was at a standstill.

So, not only is just trying not intuitive, who the heck would hide settings in 'charms' and side swipes, bottom swipes, middle swipes and glides--- am I computing or fighting a mixed martial arts master?

My days are now filled with discovery though.  And shoulder shrugs.  (my dad used to do that all the time as he tried to understand windows 3.1)

Please don't misunderstand me.  I do love my surface.  I can actually now download audiobooks from the library.  This has been available for several years, but apparently my browser didn't support it.  I can check Facebook for my crochet group postings.  Safari on the apple or the windows vista desktop just couldn't handle it.  You don't want to hear about the iPad.  And, no, I couldn't update those systems.  The original iPad just doesn't have the memory.  The laptop and the desktop are at there update limit.  I love the new solitaire games, and am enjoying the camera and the beautiful screen for viewing pictures.  I'm in love with the typepad cover and even my gaudy sleeve (purple polkadots on pink, at my age you need something obnoxious or you'll never find the tablet amongst the degree of a day with the grandkids.). But most of all I actually do like learning a new way of computing even if I am a decade behind and outclassed by the grandkids.

And the befuddlement?  Hey, I just found the surface manual and downloaded it,  seems I'm not the only old tech who wants to read it.